But life suddenly hit me during that accident. Literally hit me.
And let me just take the time to say that: whatever personal challenges you might be facing at the moment, whatever you are going through personally right now…
I just want you to know that there is a way to overcome challenges… there is always a way, no matter how impossible it might seem.
If you have been dealing with stress, anxiety, frustration, or feelings of hopelessness…
I will share with you exactly what I did to get over these things.
My journey into ascension started a few years ago while I was walking home one evening, walking on the sidewalk, when I came across the exit of a supermarket.
I saw a woman driving her black sedan towards me but I didn’t think much of it, thinking that she had seen me walking and that she would stop.
I was wrong. She was too busy fumbling with her phone.
I kept walking and from the corner of my eye, I saw her driving, approaching me in her car, getting closer and closer…
And… you know that comfort space between you and a car that assures you that the car will be making a full appropriate stop? Especially since you are right in front of the car?
Well that vehicle crossed that threshold of that comfort space, and that’s when I turned my head to face the car, and I saw the car gunning for me, head-on.
The car wasn’t going super fast, but fast enough that I did not have time to avoid it.
And it was too late.
I braced my arms out and hit the hood of the car with great impact.
The hit sent stinging shocks from the palm of my hands - all the way up my arms and into my shoulders.
And thankfully I maneuvered my weight upwards.
It happened so quickly and I managed to land back on my feet as I stumbled backward. I told myself “I’m okay, it’s not that bad” but it took me a second to catch my breath.
She was very apologetic after hitting me with the car. And I told her I didn’t need to go to the hospital but I needed her information just in case I was to go see a doctor.
She reassured me her insurance was current and not to worry, saying that if I did go to the doctor - to contact her insurance company.
At first, I didn’t think it was that bad, no bones felt broken, I wasn’t bleeding, and I was walking okay. Walking with a limp, but okay.
The accident had just knocked the wind out of me… or so I thought.
I decided to go home and rest, thinking that the numbing feeling on my arms and shoulders would soon go away.
Boy was I wrong.
Within two days I was in excruciating pain.
I went to the emergency room where I had tests done on my arms and shoulders.
And although my x-rays showed that everything was okay, that there were no broken bones, the doctor did say that it looked like I had a torn shoulder ligament to my right shoulder, but that I would have to go to a shoulder specialist to run additional tests.
For the time being there was not much they could do, but to recommend ibuprofen for the excruciating shoulder pain.
So the outcome from the E.R. visit was that I racked up my first bill for a few thousand dollars, and all I got out of it were the words: Take ibuprofen. Yeah.
So I went home to rest.
And being stuck at home day after day, I kept hoping that the pain would just go away but…
It simply remained, persisting, a stabbing burning sensation on my shoulders, and numbing of my hands.
But that wasn’t the worst of it.
The young woman who had hit me with the car turned out not to have any insurance at all.
She had lied to me, and now she was completely avoiding my calls. And due to me missing so much work because of my injury…
My health insurance soon dropped me.
I would have to pay out of pocket thousands of dollars to go to a shoulder specialist, and I would also have to pay many more thousands if I was to get shoulder surgery.
So eventually I took the young woman to court, and I won because she was completely at fault, but since she was broke - I was not able to collect any money for my hospital bills.
And after a few months of being out of work my savings were gone, I was completely financially broke… Yet that wasn’t the worst of it.
What was the worst?
My spirit felt completely broken.
I had now entered a complete state of worry and anxiety about my future finances, my future health… my future everything pretty much.
The hopelessness I felt was worse than the actual accident.
Just about every little thing, such as going out for a walk, would make me feel anxious, worried, and just put me in a foul mood.
And as a consequence, I guess that was my excuse to turn to food to try to find a little bit of comfort.
So I began eating a lot. And I agree, nobody put a gun to my head and ordered me to start consuming so much sugar, so many carbs, so much wine, and beer, and nachos… but it was pretty much the only thing I had to look forward to every day.
To no great surprise - I soon gained weight.
A lot of weight.
I knew I had a problem and I wanted a way out…
So what I did was I began going on Youtube and consumed a lot of motivational and self-development videos from “gurus.” For some reason, I thought that was the answer.
Most of these gurus ended up giving me confusing information that totally did not work… and not only in areas of self-development, growth, but even in areas such as dieting.
Now, How can you possibly give out bad dieting information that makes people actually gain weight?!
I found out that most of the “how to lose weight” videos out there did not work at all… believe me, I tried many of them.
I simply ended up spinning my wheels - feeling frustrated, filled with anxiety, and still in physical pain. And yes, through it all I kept gaining even more weight.
Two specific problems I had with these self-development gurus:
1. Most of them had a lot of motivational chest pumping “rah-rah” that would soon simply wear off.
2. Some of their programs turned out to be too complex, and some were just too plain weird with some strange cultish looking dude.
I spent countless hours consuming video after video.
The outcome? I again felt even more hopeless.
I just said: Forget it all. And not in those exact kind words either.
I kept asking myself: Why wasn’t I getting any real results?
I had gotten no results, no answers.
There was something missing, I could sense it, but what was it?
I thought about it and thought about it, but I just couldn’t figure it out.
After weeks of being in pain and sick of staying home, I decided to go out and get some fresh air at the local horse race track. Why there?
It was a cheap place to visit, and it was a beautiful open area surrounded by shiny green grass, and away from the darkness of my room.